This weekend’s quiz is all about the ladies.

These “hidden womin” [sic] are struttin’ their stuff somewhere in the Lower Haight. Anybody know where?

Mexican/Salvadoran restaurant Cuco’s has been given 30 days to leave its location at 488 Haight Street after more than two decades in the neighborhood.

This morning, Cuco’s announced the sad news on our Facebook page, corroborating news we had heard last night from a tipster.

Also, yesterday a Craigslist post seemed to confirm the news, advertising the space at 488 Haight for $3800/month. The post reads:

“750 sf – presently a Mexican Restaurant. Please do not disturb present tennis’s [sic] business in your ‘viewing’.”

Cuco’s has been owned by the Campos family for more than 20 years, with matriarch Carmen Campos leading the way and her four children a regular presence in the restaurant. Their plantain burrito was named best vegetarian burrito in the city by Burritophile in 2005, a title which was confirmed by MissionMission just this past August.

We’ve reached out to Carmen for more information, and will update accordingly.

It’s pre-Super Bowl Thursday, which means you have about 72 hours to decide how to spend the big day.

Don’t worry: we’re here to help.

Here are a few ways to eat, drink, and watch your way through Sunday’s spectacle — or avoid it altogether.

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Wing Wings is rolling out two new menu items for Sunday: Hella Hot Buffalo Wings, which are a hotter version of their regular Buffalos, and F*cking Hot Wings, which have an extra spicy seasoning, super-spicy habanero buffalo sauce and freshly-chopped thai chiles. They also sells party packs of up to 100 wings, available via pre-order, if you want to enjoy that f*cking hotness in the comfort of your own home.

If your tastebuds needs some sweet relief after all those wings, why not cool down with some Three Twins Ice Cream? The former Lower Haighters return to the neighborhood Sunday, parking their truck outside Wing Wings from 11am to 3pm. They’ll be selling an undisclosed lineup of specialty flavors, including some vegan-friendly varieties.

Another option for those of you planning to watch the game at home: consider having Greenburgers handle all your snackin’ needs. They’ve got a special catering menu for Sunday featuring chicken fingers, Buffalo mac ‘n’ cheese, sloppy joes and more, and there’s free delivery if you pay in advance. Just hurry — orders have to be placed by noon today.

On the bar front, Mad Dog in the Fog will be having some as-yet-unannounced drink specials during the game. And once it’s over they’ll have DJs playing till the bar closes.

Danny Coyle’s will be showing the game in HD on their eight plasma TVs and big screen projector. They’ll have their usual beer specials — $2.50 cans of tecate & $3 bottles of Sam Adams. Also, a food truck called Celtic Catering will be parked outside all day selling hot dogs, wings and the like.

Nickies will be showing the Super Bowl of course, but before it starts they’ll be having their regular brunch service from 10am to 2pm, including $8 bottomless mimosas with the purchase of an entree and $5 pint-sized spicy Bloody Marys.

Do you not care about this game whatsoever? Consider heading to Vinyl, where they’ll be hosting a wine-and-bingo night from 6:30 to 9pm, with new games starting every half hour. Just get yourself a glass of wine if you want to play. The winner of each game will receive a complimentary glass of their choice.

Finally, we’re not sure if Toronado, Molotov’s, The Page or Noc Noc have any special plans for Sunday, but if we find out, we’ll update accordingly.

Know anything we missed? Let us know in the comments.

We’ve got something special for you today — the story of the biggest scandal ever to rock the Lower Haight.

It involves a clandestine abortion hospital, a manhunt for a runaway Supervisor, a tell-all book, secret passageways, shakedowns and tip-offs, Rita Hayworth, late-night underground poker games, Jerry Brown’s father, and three sensational trials which went all the way to the Supreme Court.

And it’s all because of what went on here, just a few feet north of the intersection of Haight and Fillmore:

So, clear your schedule for a few minutes and join us for a story that’s almost too amazing to believe, won’t you?

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Note: the following story is compiled from accounts in various newspapers, the article San Francisco’s Worst Kept Secret by Stephen G. Bloom, and June Morall’s Half Moon Bay Memories. Historical photos are courtesy of the SF Public Library unless otherwise stated.

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Our story begins in Philadelphia in 1889, with the birth of a girl named Inez Brown.

Inez was born into a poor family, and by all accounts her childhood was difficult. At a young age, she was forced to quit school to work in a pickle factory. Her father abandoned the family when Inez was just a few years old, leaving her mother to raise her and her three siblings.

When Inez was a teenager, her mother remarried, and the family moved to San Francisco. There, Inez got a job working as a manicurist at the Palace Hotel.

Described as striking and shapely, Inez quickly garnered many regular male customers eager to take advantage of her manicuring services. One of these men was an elderly physician by the name of Dr. West. He was a full-time abortionist, and he would change the course of Inez’s life.

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In the early 20th Century, abortion was illegal in nearly every U.S. state, including California, except when necessary to save a woman’s life. There were also strict birth control laws on the books at the time.

As such, unwanted pregnancies were common, and illicit abortions were in high demand. The practice was a felony, but unless a woman died, the doctors and midwives who performed it were rarely arrested.

Inez Brown herself is believed to have had several abortions performed by Dr. West, the physician she met at the Palace Hotel. Over the course of their interactions, West apparently took a liking to Inez, and eventually offered her a job at his clinic. She accepted.

Inez shadowed West at the clinic for a year, learning how to perform the practice.

By her mid-thirties, Inez had recognized the lucrative service as something she was capable of doing on her own. So, in 1922, she opened her own abortion clinic, in a two-story flat at 327 Fillmore Street.

327 Fillmore Street, photographed 1938.

Inez hired several assistants to help her — nurses, a janitor, and a blood technician. She outfitted multiple rooms with beds for recovering patients; another was transformed into an operating room, replete with surgical instruments, bowls, and basins.

She had trap doors installed, mindful that the illegal operation might someday necessitate a quick getaway. In the backyard, she installed large concrete incinerators for disposing of fetal remains.

In a reception room, patrons could help themselves to one of Inez’s business cards from a copper bowl. The cards described her only as a “Designer.”

Inez ran the business cleanly and efficiently, and it quickly flourished. Her patients included wealthy socialites, politicians’ wives, prostitutes and nuns. She would perform up to 30 abortions a day, at a cost of between $75 and $200 per abortion. At her peak, she was making $50,000 per month – about $625,000 in today’s dollars. Over the next decade, she would rake in millions, becoming one of the wealthiest women in California.

It was also a decade of personal growth for Inez. In 1924, with money already pouring in, Inez was able to build herself this house at 274 Guerrero Street, constructed to her unique specifications:

Inez designed the house with various secret compartments where she could store cash earned from the abortion business. She also bought property outside of San Francisco, including a home in Atherton and a 1,000-acre ranch in Half Moon Bay.

In 1932, Inez married a California Assemblyman named Joseph Burns. She took his name, thereafter going by “Inez Burns,” though occasionally she used the alias “Amy Dutch.”

Things were going quite well for Inez up until July 11, 1936 — the day that police first raided 327 Fillmore Street.

Cops stormed the makeshift hospital and arrested two employees, a maid and a janitor, on charges of being “vagrants.” Inez herself escaped charges though, and the clinic was not shut down.

Then, two years later, in May of 1938, the clinic was raided again.

This time, a patient had informed police that Inez herself had performed the illegal operation on her. Inez and one of her nurses, Margie Silver, were arrested. During the raid, police questioned 10 women in the clinic’s bedrooms, all of whom denied having had abortions and refused to cooperate.

The case against Inez and Margie was dismissed just a few weeks later, as police were unable to get any of the clinic’s customers to swear to complaints against the women.

Inez managed to dodge prosecution partly because of her customers’ loyalty, and partly because she was shrewd about not leaving a paper trail. She kept no detailed records of her operations, and stored almost all of her money in secret compartments and safes rather than bank accounts.

She did, however, face tax evasion charges in 1939, which she settled the next year after paying a $10,000 fine. As the Chronicle reported at the time:

‘Her trial was marked by much argument and a few caustic comments from the bench as to the courtroom secrecy of Mrs. Burns’s “profession.”‘

Inez would refer to the Fillmore flat as a “convalescent home,” but its status as an abortion hospital was becoming widely known. Still, she was able to keep the operation going well into the 1940s.

Then, in 1943, San Francisco got a new District Attorney.

His name was Pat Brown, and he ran a campaign promising to clean up the city. Specifically, he vowed to eradicate rampant police corruption. Almost instantly after being elected, he turned an eye toward the case of Inez Burns.

On September 23, 1945, a young woman checked into San Francisco’s Central Emergency Hospital. She needed treatment for the lingering side-effects from a recent abortion.

Police were called to the hospital to question her, and she told them she had received the abortion at Inez Burns’s clinic.

The next day, undercover police were posted outside 327 Fillmore Street. They were instructed to watch for any activity that would corroborate the young woman’s claim.

They saw none.

The Chief of Police was unconvinced. Two days later, he ordered a raid on the clinic.

Police raced to Fillmore Street on the morning of September 26th, arriving at 9:40am. Inez Burns was nowhere to be found.

Just five minutes earlier, police were told, she had hurried out of the flat with her husband and another woman. Inez was carrying a package containing documents and office records. The trio hopped into a waiting limousine, and quickly drove away.

Police Inspector Frank Ahern, the lead officer on the case, was furious. He immediately drove to Inez’s Guerrero Street home. There, he found her and one of her alleged accomplices.

Inside the home, police discovered a safe containing $289,217 in cash — or about $3.6 million in today’s dollars. It also contained a piece of paper, which Inez unsuccessfully tried to swallow, seemingly detailing her extensive revenue.

Brown notified the Internal Revenue Department of the discovery. Inez Burns was immediately arrested.

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327 Fillmore Street was again raided. This time, San Francisco police, led by Frank Ahern, seized a handful of notebooks filled with names, dates, and dollar amounts. The notes indicated that Burns had performed half a million dollars’ worth of abortions in 1944 alone.

Inez and seven of her employees were charged with conspiracy to commit abortions and violations of state medical laws. A grand jury was convened to hear the charges.

Inez Burns pleaded not guilty to the charges against her.

The San Francisco Chronicle

The grand jury, in considering whether to indict Inez, heard the testimony of one 20-year-old woman who had received an abortion at the clinic. No one else agreed to testify.

The grand jury refused to indict her, citing insufficient evidence. But Brown, now seemingly on a crusade, didn’t give up.

Instead, he spent the next month building a case against her. He gathered new evidence, including receipts for oxygen, ether, and other anaesthetics seized during the most recent raid. Also seized was Inez’s purse, which contained a note bearing the names of two of the policemen assigned to the investigation. This discovery seemingly supported Brown’s theory that Inez had been tipped off about the raid.

With the new ammunition, Brown had Inez arrested again on slightly modified charges on October 27, 1945.

This time, Brown revealed more details from Inez’s seized notebooks, including the fact that she may have had several “notable” patients.

As Brown said at the time:

“Our investigation has revealed that a number of prominent persons have shown more than an ordinary interest in the operation of this establishment.”

It’s a statement that Inez would not deny. She would later claim such figures as actresses Rita Hayworth and Lana Turner among her customers. The promise of the exposure of such boldfaced names made Inez’s arrest, and the trial that followed, front-page news for months to come.

In announcing more details about Inez’s clientele, Brown also said that police were seeking one fugitive witness — a woman named Lavina Queen. Queen, Burns’s alleged anesthetist, escaped her Forest Hills home by jumping over a back fence in her nightgown and fur coat, while her husband argued with police at the front door. She wouldn’t be found for months.

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A pre-trial hearing began on November 26th, 1945.

During the hearing, three women from Oakland were questioned by Assistant District Attorney Thomas Lynch. They each told of visits to the clinic: being buzzed in, walking upstairs to the waiting room, and being admitted to see “Doctor Burns.” Another witness, a shipping clerk for a surgical device company, said he delivered equipment to the address, and recognized two of the defendants. Several other deliverymen testified similarly.

When it was Inez’s time to defend herself, her attorney, James F. Brennan, dropped a bombshell.

While cross-examining a pharmacist who had made deliveries to the Fillmore street address, Brennan asked if the pharmacist knew that Warren Shannon, a former Supervisor and once acting Mayor of San Francisco, and his wife Gloria lived at the address. The pharmacist said that he did.

The mention of the Shannons surprised — and confused — the courtroom. The judge asked Brennan what the relevance was.

“The Shannons tried to shake these people down for $35,000,” Brennan reportedly answered. “That’s the motive behind this prosecution!”

The Shannons, it would later be revealed, had lived at 325 Fillmore Street, the flat downstairs from Inez’s hospital, for four months in 1945. The two flats were connected by a narrow stairway concealed behind a hidden, sliding door in one of the upstairs closets. The Shannons knew about the hospital, Brennan was contending, but had demanded $35,000 from Inez to keep quiet about it. When they didn’t receive the money, the Shannons tipped off the police.

It was an explosive charge leveled at a prominent San Francisco politician, and it successfully diverted attention in the case, albeit briefly, from Inez Burns to Warren and Gloria Shannon.

“There are people on trial in this case who have not done nearly as much as Mrs. Shannon did,” Brennan told the court. “Why isn’t she on trial? That’s what I want to know!”

Frank Ahern, the police inspector, said he would track down the Shannons to determine whether there was any merit to the charge.

But he would soon find tracking down the Shannons easier said than done.

Warren Shannon blows out a candle celebrating the Golden Gate Bridge’s first birthday, 1938.

That afternoon, after Brennan’s explosive claim, reporters called Warren Shannon’s office. They were told that he was out of town at an unknown location.

The next morning, the Shannons were spotted checking out of an Oakland hotel. Pat Brown, the D.A., requested an all-points bulletin to bring the Shannons in for questioning.

Description: Warren Shannon. Approximately 65 years old; six feet, two inches; slender build; approximately 200 pounds; one defective eye; gray thinning hair. Mrs. Warren Shannon. 165 pounds; heavy set; well dressed; dark blonde hair; steel brace on one leg; driving 1938 Buick sedan; 1945 license 2L 2838.

The next day, on December 1, 1945, the Shannons were spotted in the lobby of the Padre Hotel in Bakersfield, California. They had checked into the hotel under the pseudonyms “Mr. and Mrs. Cooper of San Francisco.” They hired an attorney, who told reporters, “The Shannons are not running from anything.” The Shannons would voluntarily return to San Francisco to speak with the District Attorney, their lawyer said.

Days went by. The Shannons did not voluntarily return to San Francisco.

Meanwhile, the preliminary hearing in the Burns case continued. When Police Inspector Frank Ahern was called to testify, he leveled an additional charge at Inez Burns: attempted bribery.

Ahern claimed that when police searched Inez’s Guerrero Street home back in September, and discovered the safe with $289,217 inside, Inez pleaded with Ahern to keep it quiet.

“Mrs. Burns asked me to take some of the money in the safe and let everything go,” he testified.

When Ahern made the claim, Inez Burns, who was sitting nearby with the other defendants, audibly gasped.

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The preliminary hearing concluded with no sign of the Shannons, and thus no chance for Inez’s attorney to pursue her biggest line of defense: that the whole case was motivated by the Shannons’ failed blackmail attempt.

On December 5, 1945, a trial was ordered for Inez Burns and four other defendants. Charges against two remaining employees of the hospital were dismissed for lack of evidence.

The Shannons, meanwhile, had still not returned to San Francisco. District Attorney Brown considered issuing subpoenas to force them back to the city. However, he refused to do so without a formal complaint from Inez. And Inez’s lawyer, James Brennan, wouldn’t allow her to speak with Brown, for fear of tipping their hand in the case. Therefore, there was no way for Brown to force the Shannons to return.

Two more weeks went by.

Finally, on December 17, 1945, Pat Brown got a phone call. It was the Shannons. They had left Bakersfield, but had not returned to San Francisco. Instead, they had driven to Mexico.

Gloria Shannon, it turns out, had been writing a book. It was a tell-all documenting the goings-on at the abortion hospital upstairs, and it had a stunning title:

“My Memoirs in the Midstream of Life After An Intimate View of San Francisco’s Slaughter House for Babies.”

The Shannons had been eager to sell their story and expose the “monstrous abortion racket.” They described themselves as “unappreciated confidential agents working for the people of San Francisco.”

The Mexico trip was merely a vacation, they claimed, and not a runaway attempt. They told Brown that they were now in El Paso, Texas, and were heading back to San Francisco. For real this time.

The San Francisco Chronicle

Brown, however, chose to meet the Shannons halfway instead.

Without telling the media or the court, he received emergency permission from the chairman of the Board of Supervisors to leave the state (apparently a legal requirement), drove to Los Angeles, stayed overnight in the Biltmore Hotel, and then continued eastward to Arizona. Meeting the Shannons outside of California would allow them to have counsel present — a prerequisite for the discussion.

Two days after the phone call, Brown and the Shannons met up in the coffeeshop of the Hotel Westward Ho in Phoenix Arizona.

They talked for three hours, during which the Shannons denied asking Inez Burns for any money. But they did provide Brown with plenty of information for his case. He promised to offer them police protection if they would return to San Francisco and testify in the case. They agreed.

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In January of 1946, a grand jury again met to consider the new trial of Inez Burns and her four co-defendants.

During the preliminary hearing, several issues were considered — the operation of the abortion hospital, whether Inez Burns was tipped off by police before the September 26th raid, and the blackmail claim against the Shannons.

Brown seemed to be particularly focused on the possibility of police corruption. He was incensed that at least two police officers, and the brother of Police Chief Charles Dulles, attended regular weekly poker games at the Burns’s house. They were friends with her husband Joe, having grown up together on the mean streets of the Mission.

Inez Burns didn’t see anything wrong the game nights.

“So some policemen came,” Inez Burns said. “And Ed Dulles? Well they’re friends of ours. Joe’s known them for years. It’s too bad we can’t have a little game of cards.”

Meanwhile, Police Commissioner Jerd Sullivan didn’t appreciate the implication that police were cozy with Burns and her husband.

“If he’s got anything, he ought to take it to the Grand Jury,” Sullivan said. “I’ve told ‘Buster’ Brown before that if he has a beef, the Grand Jury is the place to take it.”

But Brown stuck to his guns.

“Any time you have something illegal running in a city for a long period of time — say 20 or 30 years — someone is being paid off.”

The trial of Inez Burns began on February 18, 1946.

The prosecution brought out several of the clinic’s employees, who testified to having seen Inez Burns, dressed in white, “working with” patients.

Inez’s new defense attorney, Walter McGovern, issued a slew of objections, claiming that the employees’ testimony was “an attempt to prove conspiracy by the acts and declarations of a co-conspirator.” All of his objections were overruled.

An anesthetist named Madeline Rand described how Inez Burns coached her employees to deal with patients.

“She told us to tell them to rest for at least 48 hours and for a few days if they could. They were not to wash their hair for at least a week. If there were complications, they were not to contact the family doctor or anyone else, but to telephone us and come back to us.”

In total, Assistant D.A. Thomas Lynch called 30 witnesses before finally resting on March 6th, 1946.

Then it was the defense’s turn to call witnesses. But Inez’s attorney Walter McGovern surprised the court by offering no defense whatsoever.

“In view of the total insufficiency of the evidence, we rest, too,” McGovern said.

In resting without testimony, he was unable to pursue the shakedown claim against the Shannons. Instead, in his closing argument, McGovern focused on Pat Brown, claiming that the D.A.’s motives were entirely political. And he said as much directly to the jury.

“Don’t let them trick you! Don’t be pawns in a dirty political fight! Don’t make these defendants the goats on the sacrificial altar of the political ambitions of Mr. Brown. He is using these women as a springboard to attain higher office through publicity!”

After closing arguments and instructions from the judge, the jury of seven men and five women began to deliberate.

Three hours later, they were deadlocked.

The judge ordered them to continue deliberating. They considered the case for another four hours — but remained deadlocked.

As one point, the jury asked to see Inez Burns’s notebooks, checkbooks, and records. They also asked the judge to clarify exactly who was allowed to perform abortions under the California penal code. The judge read them Section 274 of the code, which declares abortions to be a felony unless performed to save a human life. This didn’t seem to entirely clarify the issue for the jurors.

On the night of March 9th, the jury announced that it was hopelessly deadlocked. Eleven of the jurors were ready to convict. One juror refused.

Her name was Anna Linder, a divorced mother of five. After the trial, she explained her reasoning.

“The judge said that if they were conspirators they were all guilty. I think that some were innocent and therefore I couldn’t find them all guilty.”

Assistant D.A. Thomas Lynch immediately announced plans for a retrial.

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The retrial began soon after the end of the first trial, and went largely the same way. The prosecution brought out dozens of witnesses and exhibits; the defense offered no defense. McGovern again closed by claiming the case was political. Lynch countered thusly:

“McGovern’s philosophy is that it was a fine place rendering public service. Should you accept it, San Francisco would be the only community in the United States openly sanctioning the violation of the law.”

The jury of eight men and four women began deliberating on May 28, 1946. After about six hours, they asked the judge for a dictionary. The request was denied.

The next evening, the jury announced that it, too, was hopelessly deadlocked. This time, the ratio was seven in favor of conviction versus five against.

The foreman told reporters:

“The one big issue was the attitude the jury should have towards prosecution witnesses who had been labeled ‘accomplices’ by Judge Kaufman in his instructions to the jury.”

The judge had told the jury to distrust testimony from seven women who testified as having had abortions performed at the Burns clinic. The reason the jurors had asked for a dictionary, it turns out, was to look up the word “distrust.”

A third trial was ordered, with hearings beginning in June.

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The third trial began on September 19, 1946.

Before the trial, McGovern met with Pat Brown and Tom Lynch to discuss a plea deal. They came to an agreement that Burns and her co-defendants would plead guilty to lesser charges, pay a fine, and avoid jail time. All they needed to seal the deal was the judge’s approval.

The judge refused.

This outraged McGovern, who accused the judge of bias. The judge was sensitive to the accusation and recused himself, and a new judge, Edward P. Murphy, took his place.

Murphy was determined to conduct the case properly. He immediately had the jury sequestered — something that hadn’t been done in the city in 30 years. They were holed up in the Whitcomb Hotel, with three deputy sheriffs assigned to protect them from outside contact.

Also stepping things up for this trial was Assistant District Attorney Tom Lynch, who had a surprise up his sleeve.

On the afternoon of September 24th, he summoned an unexpected witness to the stand.

“Call Mrs. Queen,” he said.

In walked Lavina Queen, the nightgown-clad anesthetist who had escaped over her back fence when police tried to question her nearly a year earlier.

Described as an “attractive, chic brunette,” Queen captivated the courtroom.

The San Francisco Chronicle

Since her fence-hopping escape, Queen had spent stints in New York, Miami, Haiti, and Rio de Janeiro. She knew there was a warrant for her arrest in California, but returned when Lynch indicated he’d be willing to drop the charges in exchange for her testimony.

And her testimony was damning.

She described the inner workings of the abortion clinic in great detail. For years, she said, the clinic would treat between 20 and 40 patients per day. She claimed to have witnessed Inez Burns performing abortions “all the time,” and even described the exact procedure of the operations.

Again, McGovern offered no defense.

Closing arguments began the next day, and they played out similarly to the first two trials. But with the added testimony of Lavina Queen, Lynch had a stronger hand this time.

Inez Burns’s luck finally ran out on September 26th, 1946. The jury voted to convict all five defendants on charges of conspiracy to commit abortions and of practicing medicine without a license.

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Inez and her co-defendants were sentenced to 2 to 5 years each in state prisons. The four women would be sent to Tehachapi Prison near Bakersfield; the one male to San Quentin.

When the sentences were read to a packed courtroom, all five defendants — including Inez Burns — burst into tears.

McGovern declared that he would appeal the convictions, and he did — though he came up with a unique basis for his argument.

During the trial, one of the jurors had been discovered to be facing hit-and-run driving charges. The judge replaced him with an alternate. McGovern’s appeal was based on the premise that this constituted double jeopardy, as the defendants were effectively being tried by a second jury.

The case was appealed to the State Appellate Court, which refused to reverse the conviction.

Then, it was appealed to the California Supreme Court, which refused even to review it.

Finally, after nearly two years of appeals, the case reached the U.S. Supreme Court. On October 26, 1948, the Court announced that it had decided not to review the conviction. The appeals process was officially over. Burns and her co-defendants, who had already been sent to prison, would have to serve out the remainder of their sentences.

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The successful conviction of Burns and her cohorts catapulted many of the trial’s key players to higher office.

Police Inspector Frank Ahern earned the nickname “Honest Frank” for refusing to accept the alleged bribe from Inez Burns’s Guerrero Street safe. He would continue to work his way up the ranks, eventually being named Chief of Police in 1956. His service in the role would be short-lived, though.

Ahern died from a heart attack at a Giants/Dodgers game in 1958. In the 15th inning, with the score tied and the bases loaded, Giants right-fielder Willie Kirkland attempted to steal home. The crowd went wild, and Ahern lept to his feet — then clutched his chest and collapsed. He was pronounced dead minutes later at the stadium’s first aid station.

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Tom Lynch, the assistant D.A., later became District Attorney, and then, in 1964, Attorney General. In 1968, he ran for president as a Democrat. He placed third in the 1968 Democratic primary, behind Robert F. Kennedy and Eugene McCarthy. Lynch died in San Francisco in 1986 at the age of 82.

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Pat Brown, the District Attorney, continued to make a name for himself as a crusader against immorality, cracking down on bookies and bordellos throughout San Francisco. In 1950, he was elected Attorney General of California, and served two terms. Then, in 1958, he ran for Governor, and won. He was reelected in 1962, defeating Richard Nixon. His political career finally came to an end in 1966 when he was defeated for a third term, losing to Ronald Reagan.

Brown’s son Jerry, who was born a month before the 1938 raid on the Fillmore Street abortion clinic, would assume the role of Governor just a few years later, being elected in 1974 and again in 2010.

Pat Brown died in 1996. In a telephone interview shortly before his death, he was asked about the Inez Burns case.

“I had the zeal of a new D.A.,” he said. “I was looked at as a fighting D.A., and the rest of the state thought that was good.”

As for Inez, Brown remembered her as “a very good abortionist with a good reputation. Everyone thought she was a necessary evil. But when I became D.A. her business had become flagrant.”

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Inez Burns served two years and seven months at Tehachapi Women’s Prison. But she continued to face legal troubles after her release. She was convicted of tax evasion in 1951, and again in 1952 for performing another abortion. She was sent back to prison for another 14 months. Then, in 1956, she was forced to settle with the IRS, paying more than $740,000 in back taxes.

Inez had become bitter and reclusive by this point. She would stare out the window of her Guerrero Street home, intimidating neighbors with an angry glare.

In 1971, five years before her death, Inez was interviewed about abortion. California had legalized the practice in 1967, and Roe v. Wade was, at that time, pending before the Supreme Court.

Rather than joy or vindication, Inez expressed dismay at the trend toward legalization.

“Scores of women will die. It will be quite a while before physicians who have not been trained for this type of surgery will be able to do it well and safely.”

Joe and Inez Burns spent their final years in a nursing home in Moss Beach. Joe died in 1975, and Inez soon thereafter. She passed away on Sunday, January 25, 1976, at the age of 87.

Despite her staggering wealth during the abortion trial, Burns was reportedly destitute at the time of her death, having lost her fortune in the tax settlement.

And thus ends the story of Inez Burns — a shrewd, successful woman at the center of a larger-than-life scandal.

327 Fillmore Street, meanwhile, remains. The trap doors were boarded up long ago, the incinerators filled with concrete. Just looking at it, as you walk down Fillmore or wait for Muni, you’d have no idea what happened here 70 years ago, just steps away from the heart of the Lower Haight.

Here’s a round-up of a few pieces of street art that have popped up around the neighborhood recently, with quality ranging from world-class to wack.

First is the above wheatpaste, sent in to us by Haighteration reader “G.”

While in France recently, G. met a prominent street artist named Claire, whose work featuring lovers in varying states of embrace can be found throughout Paris. Claire told G. that her dream was to have her work displayed in NYC and SF, so G. brought one of her pieces home to the Lower Haight and pasted it on the side of, appropriately, Cafe du Soleil.

Meanwhile, Twitter user @davitydave spotted a giant orange cat face at the Duboce/Noe Muni shelter.

@davitydave

The artist of that one has chosen to remain anonymous, understandably.

Finally, we spotted this iconic, darker-than-we-remember plumber over on a Tumblr account called LastRenaissance.

lastrenaissance.tumblr.com

Mario is hanging out on the Laguna side of the “Love in the Lower Haight” mural.

The caption on the Tumblr post reads: ‘black mario in sfs lower haight newly appointed “wack street art mural district.”‘

Wack? Maybe. But this is the kind of wackness we can appreciate.

(The orange cat, however, we could do without.)

Sarah Laight, the owner of Lower Haight specialty shop Life, is selling the store after nearly 20 years in the neighborhood.

Sarah opened the shop in 1992, selling candles, scents, beauty products and gifts inspired by her travels to Southeast Asia.

The Lower Haight was a very different place in the early ’90s, Sarah recalls.

“I started hanging out in Lower Haight 25 years ago. There were a lot of bars — Nickies, 13%, Toronado, Noc Noc, 508 Haight, Water Bar and eclectic shops along Fillmore Street. My favourite shops were Eye of the Day and Naked Eye.”

But it was serendipity that led her to open a shop of her own.

“I knew of the space before I went travelling around Asia in 1992, and when I came home it was still vacant. I had a twist of fate. I was waiting for an apartment to come up, and had no where to stay. I had parked my car on the corner by O’Looney’s while staying with friends for one night. All my belongings and a big bag of silver jewelry were in the trunk. In the morning, my Falcon had been crowbarred, and everything was taken. Luckily I was insured. But my mum offered me money, and I said I’d rather use the money to open this shop with oils and candles, products that you could refill and recycle. I drew up a design and knocked on the apartment above 604a Haight Street, and met Kelly Dearman, my landlady, a true treasure. That’s how it began. I rented the flat above and the shop.

As Sarah recalls, the Lower Haight was an eclectic place at the time, filled with music.

“[It was] a cross between music lovers and shakers, artists, the rock star contingent and zombies on crack. On a normal sunny day I would arrive at my store with a broken down cadillac in front, with homeless and not so homeless characters smoking away and being serenaded by a sax player. On Sundays, the gospel choirs sang at the church where the lofts are now, over a loudspeaker. Also, where Edo is, there was plenty of singing and tambourines banging away with services all the time.”

But the neighborhood had its challenges as well.

“I would say with sadness, a young boy would come to visit me in the early years, and I have seen many youngsters grow up. Raymon Bass was shot down on the 400 block when he was 17 years old. I had just seen him — he was a lovely child, full of promise and doing well at school. The shooting was mindless, a retaliation for something someone had done in his family. I think he should be remembered. He was a child of the Lower Haight.”

Sarah has been considering selling the shop for a while, but wanted to reach the two-decade mark before making her exit. Now, as Life enters its 20th year, she’s ready to move on.

She recently sold the business to one of her employees, Rika, but says that the shop should largely stay the same after her departure. For Sarah, though, things will change quickly.

“I have been traveling to Bali for years and will be spending more time there, where I designed a Life Hotel. I may be collaborating in the design of a Life cafe, freediving and yoga centre. My goal is to make a museum for the soon to be lost art and 900 year old tradition of salt-making in Eastern Bali. I look forward to coming home to San Francisco and spending more time with my family and friends.”

In this, her final week as a Lower Haight business owner, Sarah will be thanking her customers (and Haighteration readers) with a sale — a 20% discount now through Sunday when you mention Haighteration. That increases to 25% if you pay with cash.

Finally, she’ll be having a send-off party at the shop this Friday, from 6pm to 9pm, if you’d like to swing by and wish her well.

In her own words:

“It’s been nearly 20 years for me and all the good times and faces of my customers visits flash by. I am lucky to have done exactly what I wanted all these years.”

Best of luck, Sarah!

Three California redwood trees on Steiner Street are scheduled to be removed and replaced with two smaller trees, pending the outcome of a public hearing tomorrow.

The trees are located on the eastern side of Steiner Street between Page and Oak, adjacent to the City CarShare parking lot. They are of the species Sequoia sempervirens, otherwise known as the California redwood or coast redwood. The species includes the tallest trees on earth.

Last week, the Department of Public Works wrapped the Steiner Street trees with flyers announcing a hearing to consider:

“Removal of three (3) Sequoia sempervirens significant trees with replacement of two (2) smaller stature trees at 640 Page St.

(Staff has approved the removal and the public has protested)”

No reason is given for the trees’ proposed removal. They look healthy to us, but we’re no dendrologists. (That would be Caleb.)

The hearing will take place tomorrow, January 23rd, at 5:30pm in City Hall, Room 416. If you can’t make the meeting, but still want to comment, you can submit your feedback in writing to the Bureau of Urban Forestry, 2323 Cesar Chavez St.

We’ll update with the results of tomorrow’s hearing.

Update: Sometimes we screw up. Case in point: getting this hearing date wrong by a week! As a commenter pointed out, today, of course, is January 30th. Therefore, the hearing was last week. We’ll look into whether a decision was made on the trees’ fate.

Gunfire erupted in Hayes Valley around 10:20pm last night, reportedly striking two vehicles and sending one victim to the hospital.

Eyewitnesses tell Haighteration that they were walking west on Grove Street when they heard six shots ring out.

“We were walking up Grove to the intersection with Octavia. About 20 feet from the intersection I saw a man running in a hoodie with his hand held up in front of him.

Within less than a second, the sound of shots rang out as the man in the hoodie ran away from us towards the intersection, shooting somewhat randomly… It appeared to me that he was shooting at a group of folks partying outside a home halfway up the next block… Once he reached the intersection he stopped shooting and headed north on Octavia.”

At least two of the bullets struck nearby vehicles, according to the witnesses — though they believe this may have been unintentional.

“Two cars were hit: one was random, just turning through the intersection, and the other was parked without anyone in it.”

The witnesses immediately called 9-1-1, but by the time police arrived, the gunman had fled the scene.

SF Appeal reports that one male victim was struck in the leg by the gunfire and taken to the hospital. It’s unclear whether the victim was among the group of bystanders up the block, or an occupant of one of the vehicles, or neither.

This incident comes at the end of what proved to be a violent day in the area, with an 18-year old woman being shot on Eddy and Webster around 9pm, a rider reporting shots fired at the #31 Muni bus around the same time and location (which may have been part of the same incident), and a 43-year-old man shooting himself in the leg while waiting for a haircut (???) at Fillmore and Geary around 2:37pm. There’s no word yet on the condition of any of the victims or whether any of these incidents are connected.

We’ll update this story with any additional details.

We’ve got ten steamin’-hot stories for you today, covering politics and posters, french toast and Fernet, and a whole lot more.

Let’s get to work.

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A “professional” bicycle thief who has apparently been plaguing the Upper Haight was apprehended last week on the 300 block of Broderick, SFWeekly reports. The identity of the thief, and how many bikes he may have stolen, have not been revealed. However, of note: when cops caught up with the thief, “a wig fell off revealing his head of blue hair.”

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Be warned, Church and Dubocers: from 7pm today until 5am Monday, the SFMTA will be doing track work at the intersection of Church and Market. The J-Church will be interrupted at Market Street, and the 22-Fillmore and N-Owl buses will be re-routed.

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Eater reports that tonight at Vinyl (359 Divisadero), it’s the debut of the Vietnamese/Chinese Soup Junkie pop-up. For sale will be bowls of crab bun rieu, featuring crab omelette and pork meatballs in a tomato broth. Only 40 bowls are up for grabs tonight, so get there on the early side. The soup’s on at 6pm.

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Also tonight, D-Structure (520 Haight) hosts an opening for NovelPoster, a design shop which creates posters depicting characters from classical literature and pop culture composed out of nothing but text. Like, for example, this Wizard of Oz poster, created out of text from the Wizard of Oz:

novelposter.com

The reception starts at 8pm, with D-Structure promising “smooth beats, something to sip on, and awesome art,” as usual.

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If viral videos are your thing, you’re probably familiar with the “Shit Girls Say” video, which hit the intertubes in December and quickly spawned countless imitators across the land. This week saw the emergence of “Shit San Franciscans Say” — much of which was filmed in the Lower Haight. See if you can spot Kate’s Kitchen, Cafe du Soleil, Rooky Ricardo’s, and Duboce Park.

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In other Lower-Haight-in-the-news news, 7×7 is out with its annual “Big Eat” issue, listing the 100 San Francisco dishes you must eat before you die. Making the list from our neck of the woods: custard french toast from Nopa, beer sausage from Rosamunde, carnitas from Nopalito, and amatriciana pizza from Ragazza (pictured above).

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Here’s your weekly update on Ross Mirkarimi, the former District 5 Supervisor and current San Francisco sheriff who’s facing three misdemeanor charges stemming from a New Year’s Eve incident at his home. His Defense Attorney quit for unknown reasons. He announced that he would forego pay (but not resign, at least for now) during the trial. The stay-away order against him was upheld. And an ex-girlfriend stepped forward to file a police report, detailing what she described as Mirkarimi’s “raging pitbull aggressiveness.” Not a great week for Mirkarimi. His trial begins February 24th.

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Wondering who you should support to replace Mirkarimi as District 5 Supervisor in this fall’s election? Then stop by Cafe du Soleil Saturday (tomorrow) night and meet Thea Selby, the current president of the Lower Haight Merchants and Neighbors Association, who is running for the seat. From 7-9pm, Selby will be holding it down at the cafe, meetin’ and greetin’ and listenin’ and chattin’. We also hear there might be free food.

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Haighteration reader (and Nickies bartender) Gillian F. sent in a link to her website FirstFernet, which features a slew of photos of unsuspecting patrons taking their first sips of Fernet, the very strong, very bitter spirit that’s oddly popular in San Francisco. If you like pics of people in varying states of discomfort — and who doesn’t? — this one’s for you.

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Finally, we are getting mighty close to launching sister blogs for the Upper Haight and Hayes Valley. Seriously, this is happening soon. If you want us to let you know when the time has come, just enter your email address here. We won’t spam you, promise.

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Anything we missed this week? Let us know. tips [at] haighteration {{dot}} com.

They say that some things get better with age. Like fine wine, and good cheese, and possibly Gordon Edgar.

He’s lived on Hermann Street in the Lower Haight for 18 years, and worked as a cheesemonger at Rainbow Grocery for just as long.

We recently sat down with Gordon and his schnauzer Shnitzel to talk Lower Haight and cheese. But mostly just cheese.

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Haighteration: You’ve lived in this apartment since 1994. Is that when you first came to the city?

Gordon Edgar: No, I’ve lived in the city since 1989. And I grew up in the Bay Area.

H: So, how did you end up at Rainbow? How did that career path unfold?

GE: I’d been working mostly stupid jobs, kind of doing other things and not really worrying about work. My mid-twenties I was trying to think of some place that I could work for a while. And with Rainbow it wasn’t cheese that appealed to me, I wanted to work in a large scale democratic workplace and see what that would be like, and the opening just happened to be in the cheese department and I’ve been there ever since. But mostly I was attracted to the cooperative aspect of it.

H: Was there a moment for you when you were like, “Cheese is my thing”?

GE: When I first started working at Rainbow it was at the old location on 15th and Mission. We moved to where we are now in 1996, and it was during that time where all of a sudden me and a couple others were in charge of developing our cheese selection to add more special cheeses. I started tasting all these cheeses and being blown away. I liked cheese just fine before, but all of a sudden I realized how much diversity of taste there was, the amount of work that went into all the different cheeses, all the different recipes and countries that make their own cheeses. I started being like, “Whoa, this is something I could do for a while.”

H: So I have some silly questions for you.

GE: Oh that’s fine.

H: If there were one cheese that would be the last cheese you would ever eat, what would it be?

GE: Well. It’s such a hard question to answer. This isn’t necessarily one I would recommend to other people, but for me, an aged gouda. Something that’s aged 2 years or more, because it’s hard and it’s sweet and it’s just like … cheese candy. And I could totally eat that forever. There are other cheeses that are probably more impressive, but that’s the one I would choose as a personal preference.

H: Huh. I was just thinking that gouda, smoked gouda is the one cheese that I’m not that into.

GE: But not all gouda is smoked, you know? The aged ones are like parmesan in hardness, and they get the crystallization you get in aged cheeses with those little crunchy bits in it. And they’re sharp and sweet and salty.

Illustrations by Rose Garrett

H: What are the main differences between a goat cheese, a cow’s cheese, and a sheep’s milk cheese?

GE: Well, they all have different chemical compositions, so there’s different fat levels, different levels of protein and all that stuff. But tastewise, cow is kind of the default because we’re all used to eating cow’s milk cheese. It’s kind of the most buttery and rich. Sheep’s milk cheese tends to be more salty and nutty and it’s also very rich–it’s actually richer than cow’s milk cheese. But you don’t taste the richness as much depending on what style it is. And goat’s milk cheese is a lower fat milk and you won’t get the richness that you get in other cheese’s but you’ll definitely get a tangier flavor. It’s not necessarily a more gamey flavor although it can be. So that’s what I’d say in general.

H: Okay! Are there any niche cheeses that don’t fall into those categories?

GE: Well there’s water buffalo cheese, which is real traditional in Italy. The traditional mozzarella is water buffalo cheese. And they’re starting to make a few other cheeses with water buffalo now. There’s this guy in Marin who’s got a water buffalo herd and he’s starting to make his own cheese starting next year. And then there’s yak cheese. This nonprofit was starting to make yak cheese to help benefit impoverished Tibetan communities, but it didn’t really work. We actually carried it for a little while. But … I think they’re actually using it to make dog treats now. Animal House now has these yak sticks for dogs that are made out of yak milk.

H: Do you think Schnitzel would like that?

GE: He loves it! But it gives him an upset stomach because it’s a little too rich for him.

H: How would you characterize the cheese culture in the Bay Area right now?

GE: It’s really changed. Cheese is much more interesting to people now than it was 10 years ago. Me and most of the people from my generation just kind of fell into cheese. But there’s a lot of people who want to “get into” cheese right now for whatever reason. Like they’re going to make money out of it! But the American-made cheeses are so much better now than they were when I started, and every farmer’s market you go to now has local cheesemakers now. It’s back to where it was in the 1800s in a way, with every local area having its own cheesemakers. And that’s growing.

H: What are the top American-made cheeses that you recommend to people?

GE: Stuff like the Cowgirl Creamery cheeses, that are all organic using Strauss milk. I mean that’s just a mainstay, I don’t even recommend that, it just flies out the door. All the great local goat cheeses, things like Cyprus Grove (although they’re now owned by a Swiss company), and Laura Chenel (which is now owned by a French company).

I love the Point Reyes Toma, which is a relatively new cheese. They’ve been making a blue cheese for years that’s our most popular blue cheese, and now they made this other cheese which is just a real milky, grassy, rich cheese, and that’s been super popular.

There’s also a new local cheese called Highway One, from Valley Ford which is up near Petaluma. That’s another one that’s really taken off. It’s a fourth generation dairy farm up there but they just started making cheese last year. And it’s really great stuff. They’re one of those families that’s just trying to stay on their land as it gets more expensive. The cheese is another one that’s very rich, very creamy, it kinda goes with anything. You can melt it, you can put it on a cheese plate.

H: So how would you categorize it?

GE: You know, you’ll notice a lot of people aren’t using the typical cheese types anymore. They always used to name American cheeses after the European equivalent. There are certain cheese recipes, so you can say that the Point Reyes Toma is basically a Havarti recipe, or that the Highway One is basically a fontina recipe, but the thing is the milk being different here and the tweaks they make to the recipe, people are starting to name things more on location because it’s not a direct equivalent anymore.

H: I’m going to transition to the Lower Haight for a minute. What’s your favorite neighborhood hangout around here?

GE: I definitely have a few favorite places. I would maybe consider this technically out of the neighborhood, but Club Waziema, the Ethiopian restaurant on Divis. It’s friendly, it’s got a nice dark bar, it has great Ethiopian food, and it’s walking distance from here. It’s so funny because I’ve been here long enough to see all these places change, from one business to the next to the next. Cafe du Soleil was the Armadillo, which was a punk rock biker bar for years, and then it became this weird techno music place, but I gotta say I love the place now. The food is great. I actually really like the sushi place, whatever it’s called, that used to be Hanabi.

H: What are some of the more notable changes you’ve observed in the neighborhood?

GE: Well. As with the whole city, the disappearance of black people. I don’t know if this street was 50/50 African American when I first moved here, but it was pretty close. And now, you know, there’s almost no one. This neighborhood has gotten more wealthy. Across the way there used to be an activist house, down the street there were people working on their cars. It was a different neighborhood than it is now. I still love living here, this neighborhood isn’t nearly as bad as some neighborhoods for that kind of thing. It’s still got its really good funky bits and it’s still got regular people here, but the whole city has changed. In terms of positive things, certainly there’s a lot better food and better restaurants. But I would hate to have it seem that that’s the tradeoff.

H: Do you see yourself staying in the Lower Haight for good?

GE: Well you know, that’s the thing. As long as I have this apartment I’ll stay. But I could never afford to buy in this neighborhood. When I first moved here, you could say “I want to live in X neighborhood,” and you could find a place, and that’s just not true anymore. You kind of end up where you find some place you can afford. Would I stay here? I’d love to. Will I? I don’t know.

H: So you’re a writer as well as being a cheesemonger.

GE: I had a book come out last year, it’s called “Cheesemonger: A Life on the Wedge”. You have to have a cheese pun in your title. It’s the law. The book is kind of three things put together: my memoir of becoming a cheesemonger, a book about cheese and how it’s made, and then also a food politics book as it relates to cheese. And I’m working on a proposal for another book.

H: Oh! Can I get an inside scoop?

GE: It’s gonna be a book on cheddar, specifically. Cheddar is a really interesting cheese because it encompasses everything from a traditional, bandage-wrapped cheese that’s been made in some cases by the same farm for 500 years, all the way the other direction to Kraft singles which are basically cheddar that’s emulsified and plasticized and turned into food that doesn’t expire. A lot of the issues that dairy farmers and food producers have because cheddar is a commodity. The price for blocks of mild cheddar is actually set at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, so people if they choose to make that style of cheese are working within certain price parameters. So it’s a way to talk about all that stuff and Americans’ relationship with cheese, because you don’t have to be a cheese snob to eat cheddar. So that’s what I’m working on.

H: If the Lower Haight were a cheese ….

GE: [laughs] The book talks about how I was in the punk rock scene, then became sort of a political activist, then I went to work at Rainbow. And the publisher kept hyping the “ex-punk rocker” thing and I was just like, whatever that means. And this one interviewer asked me, “If Greenday was a cheese, what cheese would it be?”

H: Did you answer?

GE: I did but it wasn’t a very good answer, I don’t even remember what I said. And you’ll get the same kind of answer. Let’s see … it’s an interesting question. It’d be the cheese on the distributor’s list of heavily discounted, slightly messed up, not quite rejected cheeses. It wouldn’t be full price. I don’t know how people will respond to that. It’s difficult to answer those kinds of cheese questions.

H: What are the craziest cheese questions you’ve gotten? In addition to the Greenday question?

GE: From customers, I don’t want to mock anybody, but they don’t really understand the difference between sheep and goats sometimes. I’ve had customers be like, “So the sheep are the males, right?” I think everyone who works with goat or sheep gets that.

H: That’s kind of … wow. Okay.

GE: I’m trying to think of things that aren’t just petty, like people coming up to me and saying “This cheese says French Brie. Is it really french?” I get that all the time. It’s like, yes. That’s why it says french. I think people all the time ask about raw versus pasteurized cheese. It’s not an insignificant question, but they come at it either, “Is this raw cheese going to kill me,” or “anything that’s not raw is just crap.” People come in with a little bit of knowledge a lot of times, and try to make grand sweeping judgments based on that, or to make decisions based on one thing that they’ve read. It’s actually a reason why I wrote the book.

H: I’ve been to Rainbow and I love the cheeses. But I’m a little bit shy and intimidated when it comes to talking to the cheese guys. I don’t think I’ve ever asked them any questions, I just try to pretend that I know what I’m doing. So what would you recommend for someone like me?

GE: One of the other reasons I wrote the book is to demystify cheese a little bit. It’s one of those things that people feel intimidated about, but you know, it’s just peasant food. Sure, there’s a lot of expertise that goes into making good cheese but there’s nothing to be ashamed of in not understanding what all the different cheeses are, especially these days when there are new ones coming out every month.

I think the thing to do when you go to a cheese place is a) ask if they have anything that they’re sampling out or that people are really excited about, because usually most cheese places will have something behind the counter, and b) just knowing what kind of cheese you like, and going in and saying, “I like this, what would you recommend as something different?” If you say you like sharp cheddar, I’d maybe recommend an aged sheep milk cheese or something else that wouldn’t be that far away but still different. I think that’s the way to get the best results at a cheese shop.

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Thanks to Gordon and Schnitzel for spending time with us. You can find his book at Rainbow Grocery, online and in bookstores, and you can find him, along with some stellar cheeses, at the Rainbow cheese counter.

A new monthly party hits Underground SF (424 Haight) tomorrow night, and it promises to be funky, fresh and free. What’s not to like?

Dubbed “PUSH THE FEELING”, the night is slated to feature “throwback 90s house, classic disco cuts and old school boogie jams mixed with current remixes and originals.”

It’s a project of popular SF music blog epicsauce, which itself is a project of Lower Haighter Kevin Meenan. Kevin will be taking a spin at the turntables Thursday night, along with local DJ/producer YR SKULL.

Each PUSH THE FEELING will feature guest DJs, and tomorrow night’s bill includes Magic Touch, described as a “denim demi-god DJ and dancefloor motivator.” (I need this to be the epitaph on my grave. -Ed.). Magic Touch will be performing a live set of original, dance-friendly material — and we hear he’s a pretty insane drummer, so prepare to be amazed.

The feeling officially gets pushed from 9pm to 2am tomorrow (Thursday) night, and admission is free if you RSVP on the event’s Facebook page, or at the new SF events site Do415.

Thanks for letting Haighteration into your life. Now would you please let us into your home?

As part of a new feature, we’re looking to profile the most interesting dwellings in the Lower Haight.

Is your apartment blog-worthy? Exceptionally stylish? Especially hideous? Exceedingly unusual? Then please, let us know. We’re looking for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Just send us an email to tips [at] haighteration {{dot}} com with a sentence or two on what makes your home special. Please try to include at least one photo of the space as well.

If your abode has what it takes, we’ll send a writer and photog to document it for the world (or at least the neighborhood) to see.

Thanks — see you at your place soon?

Rare Device, a boutique gift store and art gallery currently located at Market and Guerrero, will soon be moving to Divisadero.

According to a post on the shop’s blog, Rare Device will be relocating to 600 Divisadero, at the corner of Hayes — the former home of Divisadero Meat Market, which closed in September 2010.

Google Maps

With the larger digs, Rare Device will be able to host a permanent mini-store for Little Otsu, a Portland-based publishing shop, within the space. The two partnered for a pop-up shop this past summer, and, as Little Otsu puts it, “it seemed like a natural fit.”

If all goes well, look for Rare Device to open in the new space in March. We’ll keep an eye on it.

We think we may have found the most political place in the neighborhood.

If you’re a tea party activist, a member of the 99 percent, a fan of Malcolm X, or a supporter of Palestine, it looks like you’re welcome here.

The question is, where is “here,” exactly?

Update: We have winners!

Commenter FN and Facebook friend Alexa A. were first to get it right – this one’s inside O’Looney’s Market:

Congrats to everyone who got this one right!

Note: Today’s post is a preview of content from the Upper Haight/Cole Valley version of Haighteration, which will be launching in just a few weeks. Stay tuned!

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Today at noon, proprietress Juliet Pries will open the doors of the latest culinary venture to hit the Upper Haight and Cole Valley.

The Ice Cream Bar is a full-fledged vintage soda fountain and diner, replete with sodas, syrups, diner fare, black-and-white tile floors, wood paneling and swivel stools. It’s an artisan, San Franciscan, Rexall redux — missing only the undiscovered Lana Turner.

Facebook/The Ice Cream Bar

Over a year and a half in the renovation-and-permitting process (it was originally slated for a spring 2011 opening), The Ice Cream Bar has been picking up buzz steadily since it started remaking the old Cole Foods storefront at 815 Cole Street.

Now, after a long series of hurdles with the city’s Planning Commission, excitement in the neighborhood is palpable.

Passersby this week stopped and peeked through the Ice Cream Bar’s open doorway. Inside, they spied a crew of construction workers and waiters bustling around, making the last preparations for this weekend’s launch.

And just yesterday, the wraps finally came off the menu, which reads like a Willy Wonkian fantasy: floats, shakes, phosphates, and crushes in flavors like anise, Turbinado, chicory coffee, dill weed, birch, sassafras, rosewood and candy cap mushroom. (Click to view a larger version in a new window.)

While the menu is currently limited to sweet concoctions, Eater reports that savory fare and alcoholic beverages will be added to the lineup in a few weeks — as soon as the restaurant’s liquor license comes through.

The Ice Cream Bar could be Cole Valley’s answer to Bi-Rite Creamery in the Mission or Joe’s Ice Cream in the Richmond. It promises to be a well-imagined, family-friendly supplement to the neighborhood’s cuisine.

If you swing by the shop this weekend, do report back. We can’t wait to find out how it tastes.

Seedbombs and sweets, trials and transit. What would a Friday be without leftovers? Let’s never find out.

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Just a reminder that tonight is the Beyond the Blaze benefit event for the 60 residents displaced by December’s Pierce Street fire. Food, drinks, music and prizes. Tickets are $12 in advance ($15 at the door), and the event runs from 6:30pm to 10pm at St. Cyprian’s Church, 2097 Turk St.

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Former District 5 Supervisor and current San Francisco sheriff Ross Mirkarimi was arraigned yesterday. He pleaded not guilty to the three charges against him — domestic violence battery, child endangerment, and attempting to dissuade a witness. His trial will start within 45 days.

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Streetsblog reports that the SFMTA is close to choosing a design for the Fell and Oak Bikeway, which will hopefully make the Wiggle safer for both bicyclists and drivers (and pedestrians, for that matter). With any luck, the design will be chosen and implemented by May.

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Uva Enoteca (568 Haight) now has a prix fixe supper menu on Monday nights. Three courses for $25 — not bad!

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Hayes Valley Farm is having a plant sale this Sunday in honor of its 2-year anniversary. (How has it only been two years?) The focus is on edible plants that thrive in SF’s climate, so expect lettuce, broccoli, herbs, and greens, as well as seedlings, seedbombs, and dwarf fruit trees available for purchase. The sale runs from noon to 5pm Sunday at H.V.F., 450 Laguna.

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On Sunday night, Vinyl (359 Divisadero) hosts the cleverly-named “Shug Nite,” a celebration of sweet treats. Enjoy desserts like cardamom chocolate torte and blue cheese cheesecake from guest pastry chef Sylvia Polanski (of Yoshi’s). There will be specials on wine pairings as well, to help you wash down all that sucrose. This goes down from 6:30pm to 10pm this Sunday the 22nd.

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You know those Bank of America ATMs that got “truthified” last week? The truthifiers filmed the whole thing.

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And finally, everybody’s favorite guessing game returns: another Lower Haight restaurant is for sale. But which?

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That’s it for this week, but do let us know what we missed: tips [at] haighteration {{dot}} com.

Also, go Niners.

Uh oh.

The Chronicle reports that an SUV drove into the Muni tunnel at Duboce and Church this morning, and made it almost all the way to Van Ness station before getting stuck.

As a result, all underground Muni service has been suspended in both directions while crews remove the car and inspect the system.

What makes this particularly amazing is the impossibly bright LED sign that warns auto traffic not to enter the tunnel at Duboce:

Good look out there, folks — this morning’s commute should be a doozy.

Update: SFMTA says regular Muni service has resumed as of 8:18am.

Many prominent websites are going dark today to protest S.O.P.A., the Stop Online Piracy Act currently being considered by Congress.

It got us thinking: remember a couple of years ago, that effort to rebrand the area between the Upper and Lower Haights as “SOPA,” a.k.a. South of Panhandle? Whatever happened to that?

Before we answer that burning question, let’s talk about this horrendous legislation for a sec.

S.O.P.A. is awful for many reasons, but what’s particularly onerous is the burden it places on website owners to prevent user-contributed copyright infringements, lest they face prison time or court-ordered delisting from search engines. Yes, this crappy bill would let the government mandate which sites search engines can link to, as if that would somehow be possible.

Meanwhile, the Senate’s equally crappy version of this legislation, dubbed P.I.P.A., would give the government the power to force ISPs to block users from reaching specific URLs. Websites that merely “enable” copyright infringement could end up blacklisted. So, basically, any sites where people can post things. Long story short, P.I.P.A. would turn America into China.

If you agree that S.O.P.A. and P.I.P.A. are bad news, contact our rep Nancy Pelosi (who has expressed opposition to S.O.P.A.) — or better yet, our cringingly pro-P.I.P.A. Senators Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer, and give them a piece of your mind.

Nancy Pelosi: (202) 225-4965
Dianne Feinstein: (202) 224-3841
Barbara Boxer: (202) 224-3553

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OK. Now to important things.

Longtime Haighteration readers may recall our May 2010 story, “Like NOPA? Meet SOPA.” In it, we discussed how a few neighbors in the Bermuda rectangle bounded by Oak, Haight, Divisadero, and Masonic were making an effort to dub the area “SOPA,” short for “South of Panhandle.”

Now, nearly two years have gone by. What happened? The website they created, sopasf.com, is now defunct, as is their Facebook group — and we can’t say the term “SOPA” has exactly caught fire.

As it turns out, the effort to define the area is still alive — but they’ve dropped “SOPA” in favor of a new (and in our opinion, great) name:

DMV Heights.

So, there you have it. SOPA’s out, S.O.P.A.’s awful, and DMV Heights is your new neighbor to the west.

(Wait, “DMV” isn’t copyrighted, is it? There’s no way I’m about to go to jail for this. -Ed.)

Roughly a month after a huge fire damaged four buildings and displaced 60 residents at Pierce and Golden Gate, neighbors and local businesses are pulling together to throw what sounds like one heck of a benefit event.

Dubbed “Beyond the Blaze,” this Friday night’s fundraiser will involve food, drinks, a raffle, live music and more. (It’s being co-sponsored by the fine folks at Scoutmob, and trust us, they know how to throw a party.)

Highlights include:

• Food courtesy of NOPA, Nopalito, and Divisadero’s soon-to-be-newest tenant, Bi-Rite
• Beer from Speakeasy Brewery and Rolling Rock
• Wine by Green Barrel
• Coffee from Matching Half
• Live music including Gaucho Gypsy Jazz Band, Even Taylor, Conspiracy of Beards and The Sundance Kids
• A raffle of prizes from local merchants
• …and more to be announced!

The event is happening this Friday, January 20th, from 6:30pm to 10pm at St. Cyprian’s Episcopal Church (Turk and Lyon).

Tickets are $15 at the door, though there are $12 presale tickets available here. 100% of the proceeds will go to those 60 displaced residents.

If you can’t make it, but would still like to donate, you can send a check to the Alamo Square Neighborhood Association (details on that here).

Finally, we wanted to show you this amazing poster that Western Additionite Aaron Brodeur created for the event. Because, wow.

See you there?

Yes, today is Martin Luther King Day. But instead of taking the day off, why not give back to the neighborhood — and maybe earn yourself a free beer in the process?

In 1994, legislation was passed establishing the MLK Day of Service, encouraging Americans to spend the holiday volunteering in their local communities.

Here in the Lower Haight, our Merchants and Neighbors Association (LoHaMNA) is suggesting a few ways for you to give back to the neighborhood today:

1. Pick up pieces of trash on your block

2. Sweep up in front of your building

3. Contact Friends of the Urban Forest and ask for a tree to be planted in front of your building if there isn’t one already.

4. Or just donate some time to neighbors who might need a helping hand.

Though volunteering should certainly be its own reward, here’s a little extra incentive: if you participate in the Day of Service, go to Danny Coyle’s between 12:30pm and 1:30pm and tell the bartender that you helped serve the Lower Haight. You’ll be given a complimentary beer or soft drink for your efforts.

So, get out there and do some good today. And if you know a worthy project in the neighborhood that could use some extra help, spread the word in the comments.

In case you missed all the dramatic Mirkarimi news this week, here’s a recap.

On January 6th, news broke that Ross Mirkarimi, then-Supervisor of District 5 (which includes most of the Lower Haight), was being investigated for an incident of alleged domestic violence.

The Chronicle reported that Mirkarimi and his wife, Eliana Lopez, got into a “heated argument” on New Year’s Eve. Lopez went to a neighbor’s house following the argument, and the neighbor then called the police, telling them that the incident “might be part of a larger pattern of abuse.”

Two days later, Mirkarimi was sworn in as San Francisco Sheriff, with Lopez by his side. At the ceremony, he addressed the domestic violence investigation as “a private matter, a family matter.” Meanwhile, Lopez defended Mirkarimi, saying “I don’t have any complaint against my husband.”

However, a police affidavit obtained by SF Examiner revealed new details about the alleged abuse. Lopez’s neighbor stated to police that Lopez had shown her a bruise on her upper right arm where Mirkarimi had grabbed her. The neighbor then videotaped the bruise at Lopez’s request, according to the affidavit. Police seized the neighbor’s videocamera and an iPhone reported to contain text messages from Lopez about the injuries.

A week later, on Friday January 13th, San Francisco District Attorney George Gascon announced three charges against Mirkarimi: domestic battery, child endangerment and dissuading a witness. According to SF Appeal, Gascon acknowledged that the case will be challenging, given that Lopez is refusing to cooperate. In fact, just after Gascon announced the charges, Mirkarimi and Lopez held a joint news conference denying them.

Still, Mirkarimi turned himself in later that afternoon, saying “I’m not above the law like anyone else” and vowing not to resign as sheriff. He was booked at 4:43pm, and was released after paying $35,000 bail.

Mirkarimi’s next hearing will be this Tuesday, January 17th, according to SFist. A protective order requested by Gascon would require Mirkarimi to give up all firearms and maintain a distance from both his wife and son. If convicted of the charges against him, Mirkarimi could face a year in jail.

As usual, we’ll keep an eye on it.

Is dubstep over? We don’t know. But this stencil sure is ominous.

We spotted this purple-cloaked MC somewhere in the neighborhood. Anybody know where?

Update: We have a winner!

Commenter Caitlin got this one right — it’s on Haight Street near the entrance to Katz Bagels:

Congrats, Caitlin. Everyone else – better luck next time!

It’s Friday the 13th — are you ready to get straight-up creepy? Because we’ve got some standup comedy, a defaced ATM, a slew of events and much more, all in today’s leftovers.

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Just a reminder that tonight, we’ve got two white-hot events in the neighborhood — American Tripps ping-pong at D-Structure (520 Haight), and the opening of Twixt sc. 83 at Fifty24SF (218 Fillmore).

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Also tonight, Mad Dog in the Fog (530 Haight) hosts a Funk, Soul, Rare Groove, and Disco night. The bar promises “top choice tunes for your listening pleasure” from 10pm to 2am.

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On Saturday night, Underground SF will be the site of “POP BROWNIE: The Y2K Edition, featuring jams from the turn of the millennium. Cover is $5, but it’s free before 10:30pm.

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Need some stuff that used to be belong to other people? On Sunday, there’s a giant sidewalk sale from 9am to 4pm at 244 Scott Street. Simultaneously (from 11am to 3pm), there’s an estate sidewalk sale on the 700 block of Haight Street. The two are not related, to our knowledge.

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A reader tipped us to this video featuring the stand-up comedy stylings of Bean There barista Anna Seregina! Watch Anna tell tales of some of the more unusual characters she has encountered at the Lower Haight cafe. Funny stuff.

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We all know Divisadero is the new hotness, but is it too hot to handle? That’s what the Wall Street Journal claimed this week, noting that the street’s resurgence is leading to higher rents and pushing out the older, working-class black population. True?

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Haighteration reader Josh K. informs us that George Peacock, founder of Peacock Music in Duboce Triangle, passed away just before New Years. Opened in 1971, Peacock Music was San Francisco’s oldest instrument shop, according to the Chronicle. R.I.P. George.

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Finally, Twitter tipster MikeG2011 points us to a clever defacing of a Bank of America ATM on Fell. Covering the usual transaction selections, like deposit and withdrawal, someone has pasted options like “Invest in Coal-fired Power Plants” and “Foreclose on America’s Homes”.

Twitter/MikeG2011

Subversive!

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That’s it for this week. Anything we missed? Let us know. tips [at] haighteration {{dot}} com.

An exhibit featuring set pieces and props from a new Francis Ford Coppola film will be opening tomorrow night at Fifty24SF gallery (218 Fillmore).

The show, called TWIXT sc. 83 is based on Francis Ford Coppola’s most recent film, “Twixt.” The film stars Val Kilmer as a writer who “arrives in a small town as part of his book tour and gets caught up in a murder mystery involving a young girl.”

Coppola’s American Zoetrope Productions collaborated with Upper Playground and Fifty24SF to curate the show. As such, the film’s art department has rebuilt the set from the film’s climax (scene 83) inside the gallery. There will be other props and photographs from the film’s locations throughout the space.

TWIXT sc. 83 opens tomorrow night (Friday the 13th, appropriately) at 7pm.

Yesterday, venerable food guide Zagat published a story naming the top five restaurants in the Lower Haight.

Zagat scores restaurants in three categories — food, decor, and service — “based on the opinions of over 350,000 surveyors from around the globe.”

According to their rankings, the top five restaurants in the Lower Haight are:

• Thep Phanom
• Indian Oven
• Rosamunde
• Uva Enoteca
• Memphis Minnie’s

Apparently those are ranked by food score, not overall rating.

So, what do you think? Did they get it right? What would make your list?